Sarcasm of Life

Well for the past week I have felt like I am on my death bed... No seriously just really sick and finally getting to go to the doctor today. I guess my foul feeling has made me a tad more sarcastic since I don't feel like dealing with people or things when I don't feel good. This post won't be about fashion or about a place that is so amazing I just take a zillion pictures and force you to look at them this time. Today I wanted to share some of my favorite one liners that make me giggle and feel just a tad better... Here it goes!

Sorry...I couldn't hear you over all the f*ck I don't give.

I hate it when I don't forward chain messages and I die the next day. I'm a few minutes late to class? Please, stare at me like I just killed five people. Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours... Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe. Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and smacking you across the face with it, is considered rude... Of course I can keep a secret. Its the people I tell it to who cant. Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly. Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like? Due to recent government cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you? AHHHH I could keep going for days but my head is starting to hurt from laughing so much. I have decided I am going to put a bit of sarcasm on the feeds daily. You may not care.... but I figure if it will make people giggle to themselves then why the heck not. If you get offended easily then this probably isn't the place for you to be and especially if you can't begin to even laugh at yourself! TOOTLES